A Partial Realization

my new blog thing

2007-12-05T05:15:25Z

The type of thing I used to post here will probably now go on a wordpress blog I make somewhere instead, like this one: http://www.subversion.onceuponaninternet.com/

Updates probably not super-regularly, but, lo, wordpress haveth RSS by default. A winner is you.

Now, I must leave, before the Russians come in their fur hats and vodka-induced frenzy and rip out my testicles to wear as jewelery.

I keep this account open to check friendy page things

Just for the lulz

2007-05-31T07:28:36Z

Well, now that I have my journal backed up (except this entry...dammit), I think I'm gonna post some Naruto slash yaoi pedo beastiality incest tentacle erotic fiction (you think I'm kidding, don't you). For a bonus, I will also be VIOLATING COPYRIGHT LAW, since I'm copying it without permission from fanfiction.net.

SHINO'S PAACHI

Pikachu snuck into Hanabi's room at the stroke of midnight. Hanabi was feeling very emo because she was in love with Naruto, but so was Hinata. So Hanabi was thinking what she could do when she fell asleep. The little blue pikachu whispered in her ear "whore yourself."

The Next Day...

Hanabi-chan woke up and put on her most kawaii ninja dress and went down to the ramen cart. Just then, Shino walked by.

Shino: Yo.

Hanabi: Ohayo Shino-senpai!

Shino: My you are looking kawaii today.

Hanabi: rashspreads Oh, arigato senpai…

Shino: Would you like to come with me and taberu this delicious pinku bento that my chichi made for me?

Hanabi: Hai! Ikimasho!

(At Shino's House)

Shino: Have you ever been raped by 10000 bugs?

Hanabi: Waha of course.

Shino: Well then lets try again!

Shino told his bugs to form gigantic bug tentacles and to rip off Hanabi's scant clothing.

Hanabi: blush Oh, senpai...dame...onegai…

The tentacle bugs prodded Hanabi untill she was very tender, and then Shino ordered the bugs to PENETRATE.

Hanabi: OH SENPAI! ITAI!

Hanabi: OKIII!

It was about this time that Shino heard a knock at the door. Shino let the bugs keep at it, and then he went to open the door.

Shino: Hi there!

The person at the door was Neji.

Neji: Hi Shino, want to play yugioh?

Shino: LOL you would just cheat and look at my cards. And besides, I am a little busy right now.

Neji: Doing what?

Neji heard screams of pleasure coming from Shino's bedroom, and then he used his super secret BYAKUGON to miru whut was going on.

Neji: Holy crap its Hanabi. How did you get her to come home with you desuka?

Shino: I bribed her with umaaki gohan.

Neji: Now I can avenge my father's death by having my sweet revenge on the head family. That cool with you?

Shino: Hey man, my loli is my friend’s loli! high five

So neji JAMMED IT IN.

It was sugoi. Shino decided that he would just watch. IT WAS ABOUT THAT TIME that Mr. Frog boss noticed a lot of bug activity going on in konoha.

Frog Boss: Wow that’s a lot of bugs and they sure are worked up. Maybe I could taberu some umaaki bugs with my ROOOONGO tounge.

So Mr. Frog Boss shoved his tounge into Shino's window to get some bugs. Frog Boss's hard, wet tounge slapped against Neji and Hanabi (who had switched to their 27th position by now) causing their pleasure to FUCKING SKYROCKET. Frog Boss detected the subtle taste of salty, delicious protein, and plunged his tounge deeper into Shino's room. Shino got out his camera and began to tape all of this to be sold on the internet at a later date. IT WAS ABOUT THAT TIME that Orochimaru was flying over konoha in his magic school bus plotting his revenge.

Orochimaru: Is that Frog Boss? Well that means that dang Jiraiya must be around here someplace! Orochimaru dropped down onto the back of Boss Frog, who was now sweating profusely. Orochimaru miru-ed around and finally spotted Jiraiya;

he was clinging to the back of frog boss getting a SERIOUS BUZZ off the poisonous pleasure sweat that was being emitted.

Orochimaru: Whut are u doin?

Jiraiya: Getting high want some?

Orochimaru: Okay.

Jiraiya: Let’s take off our shirts and kiss.

Orochimaru: Okay.

IT WAS ABOUT THAT TIME that ROCK LEE and GAI SENSEI were walking by cooling down from one of their vigorous morning excercise TRAINING sessions if-you-know-what-i-mean. ROCK LEE felt pleasure vibrations coming from inside Shino's house, and Gai Sensei saw Jiraiya and Orochimaru having hot sweaty man-sex (riding dirty) on top of Boss Frog.

Sakura: Hi Lee. ROCK LEE was torn between his INCREDIBLE ERECTION generated from HET relations with Sakura and his SUGOI PROSTATE INFLATION for having mirued the old-man-sex. He decided to grab sakura and check out the vibrations, and Gai went to check out the riding dirty. Gai jumped on Boss Frog and yelled "I FUCKING CAUGHT YOU RIDIN' DIRTY!" and Jiraiya yelled "OH NO!" and Orochimaru said "LOL"

Gai: If you're gonna have sweaty sex, find a woman like Kami intended!

MEANWHILE, ROCK LEE and Sakura peek in on the spectacle inside and become aroused and decide to join in. Lee was doing Sakura, Sakura was doing Hanabi, Neji was doing Hanabi, bugs were doing Hanabi, and everyone was being licked by Frog Boss. ROCK LEE’S MASSIVE ERECTION shows through his might suit easily, so Sakura rips it open ( the suit not his erection) and swallows it whole.

ROCK LEE: ITAI

Sakura: muffled OOOOKIII.

Sakura didn't realize that he was ROCK FUCKIN LEE and had a MASSIVE penis

until she found it had grown too big for her mouth! IT WAS ABOUT THIS TIME that sasuke was getting worried about Orochimaru. Kabuto was worried too.

Sasukae: sniff do you think he’s okay?

Kabuto: I shore hope so let me console you.

Sasuke: )

Kabuto: (o)

Then Naruto shows up out of nowhere to drill Sasuke in the ass, because it's a necessity.

Kabuto- ( 'o') (;; ) Sasuke

Naruto- ( .( O.o) -Sasuke

Kabuto, Naruto, Sasuke( -o( .(D)

Kabuto: Unf

Naruto: Oonf

Sasuke: gar angst

MEANWHILE Rock lee rammed it into Sakura's ass, the earlier scene continued in Shino's house, Jiraiya pinned ino against a wall and pounded her, Orochimaru found Hinata and violently raped her with a snake, and Gai, being the hypocrite he is, found Kakashi and drilled his ass. IT WAS ABOUT THIS TIME that Kiba took chibi-akamaru outside to play fetch.

Kiba: Akamaru you are my best friend.

Akamaru: woof woof.

Kiba: Fetch boy!

Kiba threw a tennis ball into Shino's window.

Kiba: OHSHI I sure hope he doesnt find out it was me.

JUST THEN:

A TENNIS BALL CAME CRASHING THOUGH SHINO'S WINDOW.

Glass flew everywhere.

And there was lots and lots of blood...all from Hinata of course, who was looking for Hanabi.

Hinata: ITAI.

Jiraiya: IS THIS GURO?

Hinata: OW - hey Hanabi why are you doing this?

Hanabi: Frankly i dont know why. But what I do know is that I just came 36 times.

Neji: No shit, I came 87, but now that I've backed you into a corner, I can just keep spamming.

Neji's other bloodline limit, as long as he's in a corner, he can keep doing the same thing over and over without fail.

Hanabi: Also, I want Naruto's hot ass.

Hinata: ITAI! Not so rough! Goddamit I cant get out of this corner, ITAI!

Just then, NEJI'S PENIS WAS OVERCOME WITH SENSITIVITY AND HE SPLOOGED A MIGHTY SPLOOGE and the others could not escape.

NEJI'S INCREDIBLE SPLOOGE WOULD BE KNOWN IN LATER YEARS TO EVANGELICAL SCIENTISTS AS THE GREAT FLOOD and it carved what would later be known as the "grand canyon."

Acting quickly, and without hesitation, Frog Boss swalloed ALL OF IT

NEJI: FINISH

BOSS: HAI DESU

But then, because he said desu, he became a handsome japanese man, with a large penis, as stated in rule 46 subsection B of the internet.

Frog Man: Naruto...

Naruto: Hai?

Frog man: HEAVEN OR HELL ON THE EDGE ROUND ONE LETS ROCK.

Just then, Naruto WAS OVERCOME WITH SENSIIVITY and became the kyuubi.

THE KYUUBI LEAPT ONTO THE INNOCENT FROGMAN AND THRUST HIS GIGANTIC DEMONIC FOX PENIS INTO HIM AND FORCED HIM TO TAKE THE KNOT while at the same time shoving his claws into his asshole.

Frog man: unf

Fox boy: UNF

Just then itachi came in and stole his little brother away and sent him to saint john's northwestern military academy. On sasuke's first day in the dorm he was deemed the prettiest boy in the school and was raped mercilessly.

THE FROG MAN CRIED A SHRILL CRY OF UNADULTURATED PURE HAPPINESS AND LET FORTH A MIGHTY FACIAL CUMSHOT IN THE DIRECTION OF HINATA WHO SWALLOWED IT ALL.

Hinata: Oishikatta desu.

IT WAS ABOUT THIS TIME THAT PIKACHU ENTERED THE SCENE.

Pikachu: HAHAHA all according to my plan!

PIKACHU WAS VERY AROUSED AND LET FORTH A MIGHTY THUNDERBOLT.

Everyone: looks like were blasting off again!

Shino walked over to pikachu and then Shino removed his mask.

Shino was really Ash in disguise.

Then pikachu took off his mask.

Pikachu was really Fred Gallagher in disguise.

Hinata took off her mask.

She was really Kent Hovind in disquise, who jumped out the window and raped a dinosaur.

OSHI!

Shino i mean Ash: Here is your tape man. you are one sick fuck.

Pikachu I mean Fred-chan: Thanks this is the only thing that getsa me off. Here is your copy of radiant silvergun.

Shino i mean Ash: FUCK YES/

THE END

As good an excuse as any

2007-05-31T06:57:22Z

This thing with LJ deleting nambla accounts or whatevs is vaguely distressing. If they're going to be going about doing massive keyword-based content moderation, I'm going to be going about moving my affairs elsewhere. Anyway, gives me an excuse to backup all the crap I have on here which I've been meaning to do anyway. Though F*CKING ANNOYINGLY I have to do it one-month-at-a-time, and even worse there is no way to export comments. Also probably a good opportunity to set up my google reader stuff. Though I guess LJ doesn't do rss feeds? Guess I'll keep my account for tracking everyone who still posts stuff on here.

Anyway, if, like me, you don't actually use friend-locking / private entries, but you want to flee LJ, I recommend getting an account on Blogger or Wordpress.

I'll post another thing when I decide what to do with this facet of my public intarwub presence, if anything. This LJ has already mostly been eclipsed by ZoD and GLWP.

There is another bright-side: now I can be like, GUYS I AM DELETING MY LIVEJOURNAL

A particular brand of madness

2007-05-30T03:07:44Z

This is how you know I'm an engineer. Today I purchased and unpacked a 10,000 BTU "portable" (i.e. not a window unit) air conditioner. It had several pieces and a bag of screws. It did not come with assembly instructions. My first thought after not finding instructions was, "Muahaha. This will make it INTERESTING!"

arasus @ 2007-05-20T04:27:00

2007-05-20T08:17:04Z

I'm in a bizarrely good mood for some reason.

Vicious Delicious

2007-05-14T01:10:21Z

which is the new Infected Mushroom album that came out a month or two ago, is made out of pwnage. I'd forgotten that I got it, and I noticed it tonight. If you like Psychedelic Electronica, definitely check this out. My ears are orgasming with pleasure.

Comparative Self-esteem

2007-05-13T21:45:15Z

Youtube is almost as good as a dive bar.

Job-hunting

2007-05-09T21:52:41Z

I am apparently entirely unable to conceal how nervous I get at job interviews. Or in general. I remember when I tried to donate blood a few years back I freaked the nurse out because I kept fidgeting and she thought I was going to faint. This isn't a huge deal, but I'm considering practicing some mental controls to make me look more relaxed. I usually look more nervous than I actually am, due to my tendency to keep moving all the time (shoe-tapping, finger flexing, etc).

dreams

2007-04-21T17:48:19Z

In my dreams last night, among other things, people had a habit of spontaneously breaking down (mentally and physically) into component parts. They would often later reappear constructed out of whatever parts and memories were laying around. Sometimes people merged; sometimes they forked. It was sort of like if Salvadore Dali had decided to write a post-singularity science fiction novel.

Oh there was also a big climactic battle that kept wanting to turn into Helm's Deep. Eventually the Wizard (Merlin in this case) just flew back a bit and killed every one of his enemies at once with a single thought.

Eccentricities

2007-04-14T16:17:46Z

I've realized I frequently speak out loud the messages I am sending people when conversing online, as I submit them.

arasus @ 2007-04-01T16:59:00

2007-04-01T20:50:08Z

(16:57:54) FoolishSeth: pennies aren't money
(16:58:01) FoolishSeth: that means any money I get from that machine is free
(16:58:25) FoolishSeth: That means if I buy ice cream with it it's free ice cream.
(16:58:30) Post042: ...yes
(16:58:35) FoolishSeth: sweet
(16:59:03) FoolishSeth: So I just found out they're giving out free ice cream down the street; brb

Though I do keep waiting for Alex or his Dad to complain about or threaten "those honkies"

2007-03-14T12:54:52Z

So I'm reading Runaways, which is good, but most notably has the best dialogue of anything I've read since, oh, Transmet.

Samples:

(punctuation preserved)
"I'm a mutant but not a bad one like Magneto a good one like Doop and the X-Statix and when I grow up I'm gonna join the X-Men and get married to Wolverine so you better not act prejudiced around me. 'Kay?"

(confronting the LAPD)
"Chase lay down some suppressive fire!"
"I have no clue what that means...but this is for RODNEY KING y'all!"

Also, I think every single one of them may have independently called Dagger a skank-ho, though I actually had to look up Cloak and Dagger, because, well, it's like the kids said: "B-list superheroes"

Also, For some reason, I love all the ridiculous 21st century cultural references which I would normally hate.

Also, I love the corny retro-comics bullshit. I mean they fucking LITERALLY HAVE A DECODER A RING.

headbang

2007-03-11T00:39:59Z

I'm currently attempting to replace the caffeine in my diet with power metal.

No goblins in this one...that I can recall

2007-03-05T10:11:05Z

So while I massively (like +8 hours) overslept on Saturday, I did have an entertaining dream where displaced homeless refugees were arriving on campus and my advisor had tasked me with finding lodging for them in abandoned classrooms and laboratories. I had just found an abandoned movie theatre somewhere on the second floor of Nord when a bunch of comic book super heroes appeared and started fighting eachother.

In other news, apparently my brother entered a speed film-making contest at his university with some friends and they picked up an Honorable Mention. Basically they draw genres out of a hat and have 24 hours to make a short film for that genre. Imagine telling a bunch of nerds to stay up for 24 hours brainstorming and filming a musical (yup, that's what they drew).

If you want to watch it, there's a QuickTime version here:

Download: Lo-rez (10MB)
Download: Hi-rez (28MB)

It's called "Elevator Music."

extremes

2007-03-02T08:18:54Z

Man, the one up-side to it being below fucking freezing in my apartment was that I didn't have problems with capsule overheating. I reallly hope this is just the thermistor getting progressively more broken (not unlikely, honestly), because it should not be running 70C with just firefox and so forth. Unless a fan had broken, but they all still seem to be working (I guess I should check the bridge fan; I might not notice if it died).

But honestly I don't think the system would be running smoothly if it were actually getting that hot, so it's probably just bad temperature detection.

Must finish thesis to get new job to get away from reliance on old and busted computer. =\

Of course, I can't throw capsule out. Not without some kind of holy binding ritual. It might go feral.

Gaius LOLtar

2007-02-26T05:44:48Z

I am so rooting for Baltar in Battlestar. I don't know what I'm rooting for him to do, but if they kill him I might stop watching the show. No. Because it wouldn't work. SOMEhow, he would come back to life.

At first it's sort of hard to figure out Baltar's role in the show. By and large the main characters (both human and Cylon) are all icons of some particular line of reasoning, philosophy, or strength of character. If you tried to come up with one of these for Baltar it would have to be cowardice or wretchedness or something.

We're talking about the guy that not only semi-accidentally betrayed humanity allowing the Cylons to commit massive genocide, but a guy who has repeatedly fucked up in ways that are really quite treasonous (faking results instead of using his actual Cylon-detection test; the whole series of events with the nuke; leading the Cylons toward Earth, etc. etc.). I mean, if Baltar WEREN'T so incredibly insane and flawed, the fleet would probably be doing pretty well at this point. He has a Cylon in his head. He might BE a Cylon, and was one point HOPING he was a Cylon because then he figured he wouldn't feel so bad about REPEATEDLY BETRAYING HUMANITY.

So why do I like Baltar so much? Because he's like a moral underdog! Actually, he's more than an underdog. He's an abused puppy. Yet he keeps...keeps...winning somehow. I mean it's amazing that Baltar is even still alive! He's been captured by the Cylons, who tortured him. Instead of breaking under their torture, he ended up starting a nightly threesome with two of the female models. He escaped from the Cylons right when they were getting tired of him and got captured by the humans. THEY tortured him. But the torture actually worked out PRETTY WELL FOR HIM. If you can believe him (you can't,of course, because he constantly lies about everything), he's gone through some tremendous change of heart as a result of that torture. Now he's in prison and has suddenly written a book that is not only successful, but that pissed off the president. I guess it helps that the president is a tremendous bitch, and anything Baltar does to irk her amuses me to no end.

Also I think I appreciate his sheer audacity. I mean come-on, the title of his manifesto is "My Triumphs, My Mistakes". When he was President, he sat around in his office drinking booze while being entertained by voluptuous wenches! He takes cues from his head-Cylon (who is also, admittedly, hilarious; though less so since she's no longer giving him hallucinitory blowjobs while he tries to talk to people like in the first season)!

Really though, the parallels to G'Kar on Babylon 5 have reached kind of disturbing intensity. But I think it's a deliberate ruse (the writers have to know their fanbase, yeah?). I think Baltar has had a change of heart, but that instead of becoming good, he's just going to become better at being evil. I think he's going to go take over the Cylons, and get a throne, and if the universe really really likes me, an assistant-bot named Lucifer.

My name is Gaius Baltar, and I'm here to help.

Happy pants

2007-02-14T08:54:39Z

I got three pairs of thermal pants in the mail this morning. I guess people use these for sports when it's cold outside, but I just wear them around my apartment. I'm utterly fascinated by how I'm marginally warmer now. Wooooooo

Is it sad if I am waaay more amused by my own jokes than other people are?

2007-02-11T10:33:37Z

[rankendrake] Anyway, isn't our AB IRC Nanoha chan a bot? All the -chans are bots, no?
[jinyamato] true
[sethjohnson] I am a bot.
[Impz] lol, seth
[sethjohnson] Why do you think that you lol?

WTB: Very Large Fire

2007-02-06T08:47:31Z

It is way too fucking cold in my apartment. My fingers get a little numb if I type for too long (like an hour or so). I was talking to a guy in Holland earlier. Holland is like several latitudes North of here. He got vaguely terrified when I told him how cold it was. Then I told him I saw a guy in shorts this afternoon. Fucking Cleveland. Every winter here I want to move to SoCal, where 60F is "jacket weather"

We used to play this all the fuck time at my house

2007-02-06T07:12:44Z

SCATTERGORIES Meme

Rules: Use the 1st letter of your name to answer each of the following...They MUST be real places, names, things...NOTHING made up! If you can't think of anything, skip it. Try to use different answers if the person in front of you had the same 1st initial. You CAN'T use your name for the boy/girl name question.

1. Athlete: Shane Douglas
2. 4 letter word: sand
3. Street name: Sesame
4. Color: Silver
5. Gifts/presents: Sauna gift pass
6. Vehicles: Silverado
7. Tropical Locations: Saudi Arabia
8. College Majors: Systems Engineering
9. Dairy Products: swiss cheese
10. Things in a Souvenir Shop: Sanrio
11. Boy Name: Salvadore
12. Girl Name: Sylvia
13. Movie Titles: South Park
14. Alcohol: Schlitz
15. Occupations: Soccer Coach
16. Flowers: Sunflower
17. Celebrities: Star Jones
18. Magazines: Shounen Jump
19. U.S. Cities: Sacramento
20. Sports Team: Seahawks

I spent extra time on 20, purely to piss off the Pittsburgers.

(edited for clarity)

2007-02-03T07:14:17Z

Kenneth: europeans don't understand the idea of unsweetened popcorn
me: Honestly, I don't really either.
But I'm weird apparently
maybe I'm part-european
(that was a clever joke)
Kenneth: ha?
me: You should laugh, you're a history major
Kenneth: ha
me: good
Kenneth: oh, I just understood why it was amusing
I need more sleep
me: No, my jokes are often like that.

TALLY HOOOOOOOO

2007-01-15T19:07:05Z

My Peculiar Aristocratic Title is:
His Most Serene Highness Lord Seth the Undefeated of Leighton Buzzard
Get your Peculiar Aristocratic Title

coding bitchery

2007-01-05T11:30:24Z

This is the difference between working on the VS-C++ codebase that I inherited most of and have evolved somewhat, and working on my (entirely original) related Eclipse-Java codebase:

When I go "fuck I need to make a major change and it will take hours" with the C++ code, it takes hours.

When I go "fuck I need to make a major change and it will take hours" with the Java code, it takes about five minutes and I spend hours bumming around online instead of moving on to the next task on my to do list.

Free Food

2006-12-29T02:45:23Z

Who likes Dried Wasabi Peas? I have a bag of them from xmas.

Physical Comedy

2006-12-29T02:26:45Z

I just clocked myself really fucking hard in the jaw with a bottle of pepsi I was detaching from its plastic rigging. Fortunately I had a nice cold object in hand with which to apply pressure.